


Peccavi

by Willidan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-12
Updated: 2012-12-12
Packaged: 2017-11-21 00:06:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/591210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willidan/pseuds/Willidan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>pec·ca·vi  (p-käw, -v, -kv)  n. pl. pec·ca·vis<br/>A confession of sin.</p>
<p>[Latin peccv, I have sinned, first person sing. perfect tense of peccre, to sin.]</p>
<p>Lucius Malfoy couldn't resist one last stab at Harry after Voldemort's defeat.  Severus Snape is the only one who can help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Peccavi

**Author's Note:**

> Written after HBP, but before DH. AU, Dumbledore is dead, but Snape and Lupin survived. Warning for Ron's death. 
> 
> I've been organizing my fic and came across this and thought I would share. :)

_“You killed him! How could you?” Hermione huddled over Ron’s body, shielding him from Harry._

_“Hermione, no….”_

_“Just get away from us! I hate you! You’re nothing but a murderer! He never did anything to you except befriend you!” She clutched Ron’s body closer._

_“Hermione, please….”_

_“Just go away!”_

Harry curled his arms over his head and leaned against the wall. He knew what he was. Hermione was never wrong. Her voice reminded him every moment he was awake. Tom Riddle reminded him in his dreams. The Dursley’s had been right. Everyone else who had tried to take care of him was dead. An hysterical giggle escaped him and he bit down on his hand to keep the rest inside. He could hear better when it was quiet. And when the whispers went away he would go to Mrs. Black’s portrait and be reminded again of what he was. A traitor. Dangerous. Worthless. It was good that he was alone.

***

“…and now he’s all alone in that house and he won’t even accept my owls. They all come back unopened.”

Snape snorted and glared at Lupin when the man had the audacity to grin at him.

“I’m not certain what you expect from us, Miss Granger,” McGonagall said indifferently.

Hermione shifted under McGonagall’s direct gaze and cast a glance at Lupin who stared back at her. “I just want to talk to him.”

“Don’t you think you’ve said enough?” Snape asked softly.

Hermione jerked in her chair and glared at Snape before turning back to McGonagall. “Things have changed.”

“Of course they have. Potter has finally come to his senses,” Snape remarked and arched an eyebrow at McGonagall’s chiding look.

“Look, I’m not proud of what I did, but I need to see Harry.”

McGonagall turned to the papers spread across her desk, sparing a quick glance at Dumbledore’s portrait. “I’m afraid I can’t help you, Miss Granger.”

Hermione gapped at her. “But I need….”

“Perhaps you should consider what Harry needs,” Lupin spoke for the first time since Hermione had entered the office, begging for McGonagall’s help. “He is in seclusion and has been since he destroyed Voldemort.” He smiled gently at Hermione. “He suffered tremendously in the effort, both mentally and physically.”

“And it certainly didn’t help matters when his friends turned against him,” Snape interrupted caustically.

Hermione jerked to her feet and rounded on Snape. “Look--”

“I am sorry that we can’t assist you, Miss Granger,” McGonagall interrupted smoothly. “Now if you will excuse us, we were in the middle of a meeting.” She smiled gamely at Hermione. “Perhaps you will find time to drop by again, when we have more time for a proper visit.”

Hermione gapped again. Lupin stood, took her arm and led her from the room. No one spoke until the door had shut behind her and the sound of the turning staircase had stopped.

McGonagall waited until Lupin returned and sat in the seat Hermione had just vacated. “The nerve of that girl. Coming back here begging for our help after what she did to Mr. Potter.”

“Yes. Amazing, isn’t it, how Gryffindors are always so quick to judge and regret their actions later,” Severus remarked dryly.

McGonagall glared at him. “Thank you, Severus. I’m so glad you’ve reminded me for the tenth time how our tempers sometimes get the better of us.”

“If we could please return to the matter at hand,” Lupin interrupted quickly with a stern look between Snape and McGonagall. McGonagall sniffed and let her hands wander across her desk for a moment. Snape nodded and Lupin watched them both with a hint of amusement on his face. 

“Remus, have you heard from Harry at all?” McGonagall asked.

Lupin shook his head. “Not since he sent word that he was at Grimmauld Place and that he preferred to be left alone.” He turned to Snape. “You haven’t been able to get in?”

Snape glared at him. “Why would I even try?”

“Severus, we can’t just leave him in that house alone. Even without Miss Granger’s betrayal, we have no idea what has happened to him,” McGonagall said, her voice quavering slightly.

“I am well aware of this, Minerva.” Lupin and McGonagall stared at Snape. Snape arched a brow and stared back. “What makes you think I want anything further to do with Potter?” Severus asked.

McGonagall smiled and Snape stood abruptly from his slump against the fireplace. Remus chuckled “Severus,” McGonagall repeated again, this time with a hint of laughter lurking underneath.

Snape glared. “I’m shut of the brat. I refuse to….”

“Severus,” Remus interrupted as he stood and turned to face Snape, “if you can help Harry then you have to.”

“I don’t have to do anything, Lupin,” Snape returned caustically.

“You can’t let him….”

“I can do what I like, Lupin.”

“Shut up and listen to me!” Remus took a deep breath and bit back a grin at Snape’s incredulous expression. “I know how you feel about Harry. You can’t fool me with your blustering.” Remus stared intently at Snape. 

“You don’t know anything, Lupin,” Snape said quietly, darkly.

Remus’ mouth twisted into a parody of a smile. “Harry came to me. Before he confronted Voldemort. Would you like to know what he said?” Remus waited and refused to bend beneath Snape’s glare.

“I’m quit of the brat,” Snape repeated with a snarl and whirled away. He could feel those eyes boring into the back of his skull, worse even than Dumbledore’s eyes had been. He didn’t care what Potter had said to Lupin. Undoubtedly it had been some insipid claptrap. He didn’t care what they knew. He didn’t care what they thought. He certainly didn’t care about Potter. It didn’t matter to him one whit what the brat was doing in that moldering house.

But he wasn’t surprised when he apparated to the steps outside 12 Grimmauld Place later that afternoon. He tried the door, which was locked. He tried every conventional unlocking spell he knew. Then he tried the unconventional unlocking spells. Snape stepped back, muttering under his breath and tired apparating to the kitchen. He looked around in surprise when he actually succeeded and walked up to the first floor, cringing when he caught the sound of Mrs. Black screaming her usual invective. Potter stood in the entrance hall staring up at the old woman, his face devoid of emotion.

Snape stalked forward and yanked the curtains closed over the portrait and whirled on Potter. “What are you doing? Are you so completely lost in your own mind that you can’t even stop that portrait from railing at you? You’ve always been such an arrogant little attention getter. I suppose in the absence of anyone else even an insane portrait is good enough….” Snape’s voice trailed off and he stared at Potter, fighting to keep the horror and suspicion from spreading through him. Potter had turned that blank look upon Snape, but his eyes were alive, hungry. “Potter?”

Potter’s mouth twisted into a smile. “You were right. Everything….” His breath hitched and he looked back at the covered portrait. He took one step toward it before Snape caught him. Potter twisted out of his grasp and stumbled away from him. “I didn’t want to believe it but I should have known. You were the only one to ever tell me the truth. About my father, about me. And I didn’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe it. And then I saw the truth. I know what he was. I know what I am.” 

Potter continued to ramble, but Snape tuned him out and pulled his wand, casting a quick scan over the babbling boy. As soon as he felt the magic wash over him, Potter sprang at him, his hands curled into claws and reaching for Snape’s face. Snape scrambled back a few steps and quickly stupefied him. Potter crumpled to the floor. Snape took a deep breath and glanced around the empty hall as if looking for an ally. He frowned and considered the boy – young man, he corrected himself – lying at his feet. “Why did you let me in, Potter?” Snape lifted his wand again, pausing when Potter twitched, but then he stilled and Snape scanned the boy for anything unusual. 

“Anemia, exhaustion. It’s a wonder you can even walk and talk.” Snape frowned and knelt beside Potter, pushing him over onto his back. “Well, well, well. What do we have here?” He smiled grimly and stood. “Seems Lucius couldn’t resist a parting shot.” He conjured a stretcher and shifted Potter onto it, sneering at the unconscious boy as he did so, then sent him upstairs with orders to the stretcher to dump him on the first bed it came to. 

****

“You just left him alone?”

“Yes, Lupin, as he wishes to be, though he won’t be enjoying the strident message from Mrs. Black while he’s unconscious,” Snape replied absently, scanning the titles on the shelves in the headmistress’ office. 

McGonagall was on her knees across the room, digging through a hidden cabinet. “Remus, you know as well as I do that Severus did the only thing he could. It won’t be easy… ah, here it is.” McGonagall stood, a grubby goblet clenched in her hand, and cast a beaming smile at Dumbledore’s portrait. “Thank you, Albus.”

“I believe that was mine, Albus,” Dilys Derwent remarked from her portrait.

Dumbledore disappeared from his portrait, parading through several other portraits until he came to rest in Derwent’s, grasping her hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it, causing the portrait to giggle. “With your permission, good lady, they will be able to use it to remove the curse from Mr. Potter.” Derwent nodded regally and then giggled again when Dumbledore winked at her. “Now, as I was saying, Remus, it won’t be easy to remove the curse from Harry, and unfortunately only someone who the curse bearer trusts may break the curse.”

Lupin clenched his fists and looked as if he wanted to say something before he thought better of it and walked away. Snape smirked and continued searching the shelves. “I’ll open the house as soon as the curse is off.”

McGonagall cleared her throat. Lupin and Snape looked over at her. “It might be best, Severus, if you cared for Harry until he was willing to have others visit him.”

“I’m breaking the curse, aren’t I? Much as I don’t want to. Isn’t that enough?” Snape shot back.

“Severus, there was a reason why Harry allowed only you in. He trusts you, despite the curse. If anyone else were to….”

Snape grit his teeth and pulled a volume from the shelf. “Here it is.” He interrupted before McGonagall worked up a good head of steam. He ran his finger down a list of ingredients and instructions. “I have the base in stock. It will only take a few hours to complete it.” He closed the book, his finger marking his place and accepted the goblet from McGonagall. “The curse should be broken by tomorrow afternoon. I’ll contact you and you can come and moon over Potter to your hearts’ content.” Lupin snarled and Snape grinned. He began to sweep from the room, only to be caught by McGonagall’s words. 

“Severus, thank you.” McGonagall looked on the verge of saying something else, but only smiled, shook her head and let Snape go. Snape stared after her a moment before sweeping from the room, throwing one last smirk in Lupin’s direction before heading down to his potions’ lab.

***  
Potter was still stupefied when Snape returned. Snape shook his head at the sight of the savior of the world curled up like a five year old sent to bed without supper. He set the cup of potion on the table beside the bed. He hesitated a moment before pointing his wand at Potter and put it away quickly when Potter’s eyes blinked up at him. Potter almost smiled at him before the curse took affect and then his features fell blank and his eyes became the eyes of a starving man.

“You will do what I say, Potter, or you will regret it.”

Potter nodded and sat up eagerly. Snape stepped back. “Stay where you are.” Potter stilled his motions and stared up at Snape. Snape stepped forward and lifted the old stone goblet. “Drink this, all of it. And don’t even think of grimacing at the taste.”

Potter accepted the goblet and drank the contents. Snape rescued the goblet before it fell from Potter’s fingers. Potter stared up at him. “What did you do to me?”

Snape grinned and enjoyed Potter’s flinch. “I do what I have to do. As do you, Potter.” Potter began to shiver uncontrollably and Snape snatched up the blanket and wrapped it around Potter’s shoulders. Potter curled up slightly and Snape sat beside him and allowed Potter to lean against him.

“It’s too cold,” Potter whined, and Snape almost felt sorry for him.

“It will pass,” Snape said softly and couldn’t help but brush the fringe out of Potter’s eyes. They sat quietly, Snape counting absently in his mind until Harry spoke.

“I killed him,” Harry whispered.

“You did what you had to do, Potter. You did nothing wrong.”

“I killed him,” Harry repeated, his breath catching in a gasp.

“He deserved it,” Snape said harshly.

Harry tried to twist out of his grasp, but Snape held him tight. “He was my friend!”

Snape cursed under his breath and held Harry close. “You didn’t kill Weasley – Ron. The only person you ever killed was the Dark Lord.”

“You don’t know! You weren’t there!” 

Snape cringed at the shout so near his ear, but didn’t let go of Harry. “I was there, Harry. So were Lupin and McGonagall. We saw everything. We saw more than you did.”

“And mum and dad and Sirius and oh, god, Cedric.”

Snape kept a tight hold on Harry and leaned down to whisper in Harry’s ear, though Harry kept reciting the names of Voldemort’s victims. “You didn’t kill them. It wasn’t your fault. None of it was your fault. It’ll be all right, Harry.” 

“Dumbledore died because of me,” Harry sobbed. “I fed him that poison. He was trying to help me.” Harry’s breath caught and Snape reached across him for more of the potion, forcing it down Harry’s throat. Harry calmed and the racking sobs eased. “He was trying to help me. He destroyed the ring. And he told me to feed him the poison. I killed him.”

“He was already dying, Harry. He lived long enough to give you the information you needed. He set his final plan in motion. You did nothing that the ring had not already started.”

Despite Snape’s reassurances, Harry continued to cry, the despair and guilt the curse was forcing him to feel working its way through him. “It was my fault. I was supposed to stop him, but I didn’t and he’s dead and it was my fault.”

“Potter,” Snape sighed. “Harry. It wasn’t your fault.”

Snape found himself flying through the air and flung into a wall. He slid down the wall, just managing to catch himself before falling over completely. He shook his head and looked up at Potter, standing over him, his wand nowhere in sight. “He was there because of me! He was killed because of me! IF HE HADN’T BEEN MY FRIEND HE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE! DON’T TELL ME IT WASN’T MY FAULT!” Harry gasped and fell to his knees. “It was my fault. All of it was my fault.” He hunched over, wrapping his arms around his waist. “My fault. All my fault.”

Snape stared at the boy rocking on his knees in front of him. Lucius was good, he’d give him that. Know thy enemy, indeed. As little contact as Lucius had had with Harry, he still knew exactly what spell would cause the most emotional damage, which one would be the most difficult to break. The curse was working with feelings that Harry already had, compounded by the weight the wizarding world had placed on his shoulders and the betrayal of his closest remaining friend, the curse was overwhelming. Snape couldn’t find fault with anything that Harry had said: everyone who had ever cared for him was dead. And it was clear, to Snape at least, that he was the wrong person for this job.

Snape stood, clutching at the wall when his head began to spin. Harry took no notice of his movement, but Snape kept a close eye on him, bending to pick up his wand where it had fallen, and clutching it in his fist, ready to lift it at the first sign of further hostility from Harry. Harry showed no signs of even being aware of another person’s presence, not even when Snape wrapped his hands around Harry’s shoulders, bodily lifting him from the floor and steering him to a chair. Snape conjured a second chair and sat down in front of him. 

“Harry. Listen to me,” Snape said softly. Harry stopped rocking, stopped sobbing, but didn’t look up. “You killed the Dark Lord. It’s what you were meant to do.”

“I’m a killer,” Harry said dully.

“Yes, you are.”

“He was just a boy.”

“He grew into the Dark Lord.”

“He was just like me.”

“He was nothing like you, Potter,” Snape said harshly. Harry flinched, but still seemed to drink in the severe words. “The Dark Lord was powerful. He drew people to him. People who had power of their own. People he could twist and mold into what he wanted them to be. You are nothing like him. And you never will be.” Harry drew his legs to his chest, pressing his head down to his knees. “Look at me!” Harry’s legs thumped down to the ground and he stared up at Snape. Snape smirked but cursed inwardly at the lack of argument, though finally there was a spark of defiance in Harry’s eyes. He pulled a flask from his pocket and poured more of the potion into the goblet, muttering a soft incantation that turned the stone goblet green and the potion a bright yellow. “Drink this.”

“What is it?” Harry asked.

The question actually gave Snape a spark of hope. Snape simply arched a brow and stared at Harry until he drank the potion, still not willing to show a grimace at the taste. Snape rescued the goblet as it fell from Harry’s hand. He summoned the quilt from the bed and tucked it firmly around Harry’s shoulders. 

“Why’m I so cold?” Harry’s teeth were chattering.

“You have been cursed, Potter. The curse is working its way through your body, feeding on your negative emotions.” Harry stared blankly at Snape. Snape shook his head and began again. “Do you deserve to be warm and comfortable after what you’ve done?”

Harry frowned and didn’t answer. He huddled closer into the quilt, though it looked as if he wanted to fling it off of him and suffer the chills as he felt he deserved. Snape sat back and considered Harry’s condition. He tried to remember what the text had said about the curse working its way out of the subject’s body. He couldn’t remember anything about chills. What he was most concerned about was increasing levels of violence, although he couldn’t remember that being mentioned either.

They sat silently, Harry shuddering beneath the quilt, Snape studying him for any sudden movement. Snape didn’t know how long they sat there before he realized that Harry was falling asleep. Snape stood and kicked Harry’s chair. Harry jerked and glared. “Get up, Potter.” Harry hesitated only a moment before obeying. Snape smirked. “Very good. You will not sleep. Not until I give you leave to do so. Is that understood?”

The brief defiance in Harry’s eyes before he reluctantly nodded was a balm to Snape’s unease with the situation. He wasn’t fit for this. He could break the curse, there was no question about that. But everything seemed to indicate that when the curse was lifted, Harry would fall and fall hard. How was Snape supposed to deal with the emotional upheaval that Harry would experience?

Snape ordered Harry down to the kitchen and set him to work scrubbing the dishes in the cupboard. Harry glared at him briefly and reminded him that they were already clean, but Snape didn’t have to say anything more before Harry began washing them. For the next four hours, Snape kept Harry busy cleaning the kitchen, the sitting room, and anything else that Snape came across that would tire Harry out. At regular intervals, Snape would dose Harry with another goblet full of the potion, reminding him over and over that he had done nothing wrong. Each time Snape gave him an order, Harry became just a bit more reluctant to do so. Until finally, early the next morning, Harry threw his dusting rag onto the ground and turned to yell at Snape.

“I’m not dusting anymore!” Harry glared up at Snape. “And I’m not doing anything else you tell me to!”

Snape crossed his arms over his chest. “Indeed, Mr. Potter.”

“Don’t call me that! You can’t tell me what to do anymore! And I’m not… I’m not…” Harry stumbled over and collapsed into a chair. “Oh, God. Somebody help me.” He wrapped his arms around his waist and hunched over. 

Snape watched him, grateful that the curse seemed to have broken at last, but at a loss as to what he should do now. Harry began rocking in the chair, a low keening moan accompanying his movement. Snape knelt in front of Harry’s chair, holding Harry’s shoulders. The moaning stopped along with the movement.

“Potter, you were cursed.”

Harry shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.”

Snape’s hands tightened on Harry’s shoulders. “Potter--” Snape began but Harry shook his head.

“Really, it doesn’t matter.” He sniffed and rubbed his nose with his wrist. “I mean, I get I was cursed, but it doesn’t make any difference, does it?” He gave a brief, bitter laugh. “I may not have cast the curse, but I was the reason he was there.”

Snape pushed Harry upright in the chair. “Potter, the only death you are responsible for is the Dark Lord’s.” Harry began shaking his head and Snape shook him roughly. “You had nothing to do with anyone else’s death. It was their choice to fight beside you or not.”

“Dumbledore….”

Snape rubbed Harry’s shoulders. “His choice as well.”

“I fed him that poison,” Harry whispered.

“He was already dying, Harry,” Snape replied softly. Harry stared into Snape’s eyes. “When he destroyed the ring at the end of the summer it injured him greatly. The Dark Lord was careful to protect his Horcrux’. Dumbledore was strong enough to destroy the ring, and he could withstand the curse that came with it, but at great cost.”

Harry touched Snape’s cheek with his fingertips. “He said he needed you. When we got back from the cave.”

Snape gave a jerky nod. “I was able to stop the curse. For a time.”

“You kept him alive long enough for him to tell me what I needed to know,” Harry continued.

“Yes,” Snape whispered.

“And then you killed him.” Snape tried to jerk away, but Harry gripped his face between his hands and held him still. “You killed Dumbledore and then you went back to Voldemort.” Snape held his breath. “Dumbledore begged you to kill him,” Harry continued softly. Snape drew a shuddering breath. “Do you think I don’t know that?”

“Harry,” Snape said brokenly.

“I did see you there. I saw you fight with the Order.” Harry stroked his fingers along Snape’s cheeks before letting his hands drop into his lap. “I’m tired, Severus.”

Snape stood and stepped back. “Undoubtedly. You may rest now.”

“You’re not going to make me work anymore?” 

“It was necessary to keep you awake until the curse was broken.”

Harry stood and walked toward the door. He paused and looked back at Snape. “Thank you.” He gave a half-laugh. “You’re always saving me and this is the first time I’ve thanked you. Thank you, Severus. For everything.”

Snape inclined his head briefly and watched Harry walk away. He stared up the stairs after him for a moment before apparating away.

***

“It is not my concern that he will not allow you in,” Snape replied calmly, his hands resting lightly on his knees, his eyes following the erratic movements of Lupin. He was tempted to berate the man for wearing a hole in his already threadbare rug, but Lupin was already hanging tentatively to his last line and Snape didn’t want to risk the few valuables that he had.

Minerva sat her cup of tea on the table in front of her. “We know it is not your fault, Severus. And we do appreciate your efforts in breaking the curse. But that does not change the fact that you are still the only one he will allow into Grimmauld Place. Will you please consider returning and trying to persuade Harry to allow us in?”

“Why should I? Was I unclear when I told you I wanted nothing more to do with him?” Snape asked. 

“Believe me, Snape, I certainly wouldn’t be here now if there were any other alternative,” Lupin replied waspishly.

Snape reconsidered risking his possessions. “I do not care if Harry…” Snape caught his breath and avoided Lupin’s and Minerva’s knowing looks. “I do not care if Potter molders away in that house. I want nothing to do with him.” Minerva and Lupin continued to stare at him.

Harry was sitting in the kitchen nursing a cup of tea and a sandwich when Snape apparated in. He looked up in surprise. “You’re back.”

“Why haven’t you dropped the wards?” Snape demanded.

Harry blinked. “Why would I? Do you want some tea?”

Snape frowned and nodded jerkily. Harry gestured toward a chair before shoving a cup of tea across the table. Snape sat and silently sipped his tea while Harry finished his sandwich.

“I didn’t think I’d see you again,” Harry said softly.

“They’re still worried about you,” Snape answered just as softly.

Harry tensed before asking, “Who’re ‘they’?”

“Potter--”

“Please call me Harry,” Harry interrupted quickly and almost desperately.

“Harry,” Snape began again, “you can’t continue to hide away here.”

“I’m not hiding,” Harry whispered.

“Lupin and Minerva are worried about you.”

“Minerva?” Harry asked with a frown.

“Minerva McGonagall,” Snape answered. “They need to see you.”

Harry shook his head. “Just tell them I’m fine.”

“If that were all it would take then I would not be here now,” Snape answered angrily.

“Then why are you here?” Harry returned just as angrily.

“Because I am the only one that you allow into this wretched house,” Snape hissed back.

Harry jerked in his chair as if he had been slapped. Snape smirked at him.

“Have you forgotten, Potter? You placed very formidable wards upon this house.” Snape crossed his arms over his chest. “Why is that, Potter? Why allow me to visit you when you won’t allow those who care about you to visit?”

Harry pressed back into his chair and mimicked Snape’s pose, gripping his arms tightly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just put up wards. I didn’t want anyone here.”

Snape leaned back in his chair and studied Harry. “I fail to understand why you allowed me entry into your sanctum.”

Harry squirmed under Snape’s gaze and refused to answer. Snape shook his head and stood.

“Come along, Potter. It’s time to put Minerva’s and Lupin’s fears to rest.”

Harry shook his head. “I don’t want anyone in here.”

Snape paused on his way to the door and walked back to Harry, leaning over him. “I don’t care what you want.”

Harry stared up at him; Snape fought not to squirm under the attention. “Sure,” Harry scoffed.

Snape took a step toward Harry. “I care nothing about you, Potter.”

Harry stood and smirked up at Snape. “Right. That’s why you came here and broke the curse.”

“You allowed no one else inside your house, Potter.”

“So what?”

Snape grit his teeth and clamped his fingers around Harry’s wrist.

“Let go of me!”

Snape ignored Harry’s scream of outrage and dragged him to the front door. “Open the door, Harry,” Snape stressed with a sneer.

Harry struggled to pull his arm free of Snape’s hold, but Snape held onto him tightly. 

“I don’t want anyone here!”

“Then why did you allow me in?”

“I don’t know,” Harry shouted. “I can’t imagine why anyone would want to be near you!”

Snape released Harry’s wrist and Harry stumbled and fell to the floor. Snape stepped back and pulled his robes tightly around him. Harry lay still on the floor, his breathing erratic. 

“Open the door, Potter,” Snape’s voice was unnaturally loud in the silent entry hall. “They’ll take care of you.”

Harry shifted on the floor and curled up around himself. “No, they won’t.”

Snape frowned and took a step forward. “What do you mean?”

Harry moaned softly and shook his head. “Just go. It’s what you want.”

Snape clenched his hands into fists before he stalked forward and yanked Harry to his feet. “The curse is broken, Potter. You shouldn’t….” Snape stared into Harry’s eyes, seeing the same deadened expression there that had haunted his face before the curse was broken. He drew his wand and stepped back, casting several diagnostic charms over Harry. There was no curse or spell upon him. “I don’t understand. You should be better.”

Harry smirked and climbed to his feet. “Oh, I am better, Severus. Believe me I’ve no desire to have Mrs. Black’s portrait yelling at me any time soon.”

“Then open the door, Potter. Let Lupin and Minerva in.”

Harry cocked his head to the side and stared at Snape. “Why do you care if I let them in?”

“They’re worried about you, Potter.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

Snape glared. “They won’t leave me alone until you open the door. I suggest you do so,” Snape finished silkily.

Harry looked away. “Oh. I suppose they’ve been bothering you.”

Snape snorted and Harry smiled and glanced up at him through his fringe. Snape glared before looking pointedly at the door. Harry sighed and crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Potter….” Snape warned softly.

“This is my house. I don’t have to let anyone in if I don’t want to,” Harry replied obstinately.

“Then do not allow me entry either,” Snape whispered.

Harry stepped close to him. “How did you get in?”

“You let me in.”

“Why?” Harry whispered.

Snape glared. “You tell me, Potter.”

Harry glared back. “I don’t like you.”

“I don’t like you either!” Snape returned and mentally cursed himself for being drawn into an adolescent shouting match. They stood glaring at each other for several minutes until Harry finally looked away. Snape dropped his arms wearily to his side. “Just open the door, Harry. Let them know you’re alright.”

Harry nodded once, jerkily and wiped his hands on his robes. “There’s….” Harry’s voice trailed off and he glanced anxiously at Snape before clearing his throat and trying again. “There’s no one else with them. Is there?”

Snape stepped forward and laid a reassuring hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Just Minerva and Lupin.” He squeezed Harry’s shoulder and gave him a gentle shove toward the door.

“You’ll stay, too. Won’t you?” Harry asked, looking to Snape for reassurance again.

Snape nodded. “As long as you want me to.”

Harry nodded again, took a deep breath and opened the door.

***

Snape tried to stay away. He had stayed long enough after Potter had allowed Lupin and Minerva in to make sure that Potter wouldn’t attack them or lock them out again. And he had tried to avoid looking in Potter’s direction before he apparated away. But he couldn’t get Potter’s look of betrayal out of his mind. Snape had done his part. Lupin and Minerva could take care of him from now on. Potter had never appreciated Snape’s assistance before. He had never wanted Snape’s help. And Snape wasn’t going to offer it again.

So Snape was silently cursing himself two days later when he apparated into Grimmauld Place’s kitchen. He was immediately assaulted by the screeching voice of Mrs. Black’s portrait. Snape rushed toward the sound, dread gathering in his chest. He reached the entrance hall just as the sound was cut off and he stumbled to a halt as Harry yanked the curtains closed over the portrait. Harry sighed and glared at the covered portrait before turning to Snape.

“Do you know of any spell or potion or anything that can get rid of this portrait?”

Snape blinked and for the first time in a long time, he had no idea what to say. “Er, there might be a potion.”

Harry scowled and nodded. “I’ve been searching but I don’t know what I’m looking for.” He glared at the portrait again. “But since you think there could be, I’ll keep looking.” He turned back to Snape. “What do you want?” Snape opened his mouth, hoping that some stinging comment would spring to mind, but Harry continued quickly. “I did what you wanted. Lupin and McGonagall have been taking turns checking on me every damn day.”

“It’s not what I wanted, Potter.”

Harry shook his head. “It doesn’t matter.”

“What is wrong with you now?” Snape asked, resigned to curing Harry of whatever affliction was affecting him now.

Harry smirked, the expression making Snape’s heart skip a beat for some reason. “Nothing’s wrong with me, Severus. What do you care anyway?”

“I don’t care,” Snape answered petulantly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Then why are you here?” Harry waved his arms between them before propping his fists on his hips. “Why do you keep butting in? I did what you wanted. Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

Severus sneered and refused to answer.

Harry sighed and gestured toward the kitchen. “Would you like some tea?”

Snape tried to say ‘no’ but found himself following Harry down to the kitchen. It was humiliating, he decided, his inability to let others see to Potter. He had done what Albus had asked of him. The Dark Lord was gone, Potter was alive, if not well, and Snape could finally get on with his life and do what he wanted to do for the first time he could remember. So why did it appear that what he wanted was to sit silently across from Potter and drink his abysmal tea?

“Remus came by earlier today,” Harry remarked after several minutes. Snape made a noncommittal sound. Harry fiddled with the spoon beside his tea. “McGonagall was here yesterday. She said that you were still living at Hogwarts.” Snape grunted again. “But you weren’t teaching.”

“Why on Earth would I teach?”

Harry shrugged. “How long are you going to live there?”

“And just where else am I supposed to live, Potter?”

Harry frowned. “I thought you had a house.”

“What of it?” Snape asked caustically.

“Why are you still living at Hogwarts if you have your own house?”

“And I suppose you think it’s logical that I would prefer to live in a crumbling house filled with bad memories where I can be accosted day after day by idiots who refuse to believe I was on the right side of the war than in a castle surrounded by wards and maintained by the only person still living who is willing to protect me.” Snape shut his mouth with a snap and fought down the blush he could feel forming.

Harry cleared his throat. “Sorry. I didn’t realize you…. Well, never mind.” Harry clinked his spoon against his tea cup and Snape reached over and jerked it from his hand. “What is wrong with you?” Harry yelled.

“Must you be so annoying?”

“I didn’t invite you here.”

Snape stood, knocking his chair over in the process. “Then I’ll go.”

“Fine!”

Snape whirled away, his robes billowing around him, and stalked toward the entrance hall. “And I won’t return!”

Harry stomped along after him. “Good!”

Snape spun around and grabbed Harry by the arms. “You ungrateful little brat!”

Harry clung to Snape’s robes. “I didn’t ask you to come here! Remus and McGonagall have been ‘dropping’ by since you broke the curse! I don’t need you!”

“And you never even said thank you for helping you!”

“Yes, I did!” Harry took a deep breath. “I did thank you. For breaking the curse.” He relaxed his grip on Snape’s robes, but still kept hold of him. “But not for everything else you’ve done.”

Snape frowned and released Harry, but found himself caught when he tried to step away. “Let go, Potter.”

“I didn’t understand, not then, everything that you did. Or how dangerous it was.” Harry smiled and gave a small laugh. “Dumbledore asked a lot of you, and you did everything he asked. And you protected me.” Harry released a handful of Snape’s robes and stroked his fingers over Snape’s neck. Snape stayed carefully still. Harry let go of Snape’s robes and took a step back. “Thank you. For everything.”

Snape keenly felt the loss of those fingers against his skin. He backed away, opened his mouth and found he couldn’t speak. He nodded and apparated away.

He arrived at the gates of Hogwarts determined that he wasn’t going to return. Potter was fine. He wasn’t cursed and he had two relatively competent people looking after him. Minerva was competent, at any rate. Snape was no longer under any obligation to care for the brat.

And yet despite his best efforts, he was back at Grimmauld Place, sitting across the table from Harry the next week.

“Remus said that the Weasleys want to see me.”

Snape grunted and didn’t comment.

“I can’t imagine why.”

Snape arched a brow. “Can you not?”

Harry flushed and began to fiddle with his spoon. Snape pulled it out of his grasp.

“I can imagine what they want to say to me. I don’t need to hear it.”

“I had thought you were slightly more intelligent than that.”

Harry frowned. “What?”

Snape sneered. “Do you honestly think that everyone who once loved you is as ignorant and reproachful as Miss Granger?” 

Harry glared. “We’re not talking about H – her.”

“No, of course not,” Snape mocked, but then turned serious. “The Weasleys know better. Even the twin imbeciles admit you were not responsible.”

Harry chuckled tiredly at the gibe at the twins. “I don’t know if I could….” He took a deep breath. 

“Perhaps they need to see you,” Snape remarked softly. “You were his best friend. You were as close to a seventh son as they could have gotten. They miss you.”

Harry nodded. “That’s… yeah, that makes sense.”

“Isn’t it time that you reassured those who care about you that you are well?”

“I don’t want to become some sort of spectacle. Not again.” Harry rubbed at his eyes tiredly.

“And you believe that the Weasleys would do that to you?”

Harry shrugged. “Maybe.” He sighed. “No, I don’t. But I also don’t want to become some sort of – I don’t know, substitute, I guess – for Ron.”

“You know better than that,” Snape scoffed. “They care for you for your own merits. To suggest that they blame you or wish for you to replace their lost son is a disservice to them.”

Harry flushed and looked away. “I just --”

“You’re afraid,” Snape interrupted. Harry nodded. “It is perfectly understandable. You blame yourself so you naturally assume that everyone else blames you as well.” Snape reached across the table and touched Harry’s hand. Harry grasped his fingers tightly. “It was not your fault.”

“He – other people blame me.”

Snape squeezed Harry’s fingers. “People react badly in moments of high emotion. And there were many, Molly and Arthur included, who never blamed you. We are all adults. We all chose to be there and to fight for what we believe to be right.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Harry whispered after several minutes of silence.

“You can.” Harry looked up sharply and Snape gave him a small smile. “You are stronger than you realize.”

Harry smiled. “Didn’t think I’d ever hear you say something nice about me.”

Snape snorted and pulled his hand away. “Don’t expect to hear the like ever again.”

Harry laughed softly. “I suppose, if Mr. and Mrs. Weasley want to come by….” Harry gulped and looked desperately at Snape. “Do you think, er, you could come by too?”

“Afraid to face them on your own, Potter?” Harry grinned and shook his head, but Snape saw the fear and uncertainty in his eyes and found himself agreeing. 

To his surprise, Lupin and Minerva were absent when he arrived two days later to take tea with Potter and the Weasleys. He had expected Potter to surround himself with the people he had trusted enough to let in from the beginning. But when he arrived, he found Harry fiddling in the kitchen and no sign of anyone else.

Harry looked up with relief when Snape cleared his throat. “Oh, good, you’re here. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley won’t be here for a while.” He wiped his sweaty palms on his robes. “I’m, er,” he laughed helplessly, “a bit nervous.”

“Really,” Snape asked dryly. “I never would have known.”

Harry smiled and turned back to his preparations. “I’m not sure what to say, you know?”

Snape reached around and pulled the tea tray away from Harry’s nervous hands. “Perhaps it would be best to let them begin.”

Harry nodded and reached for the tea tray again only to have his hands slapped away by Snape. Harry started but then chuckled and let Snape prepare the tray. And then, before either knew it, the Weasleys were there, standing in the doorway and staring across at Harry and Snape. It took a few moments for Snape to realize that Harry was hiding behind him. With a low growl, Snape reached back and pulled Harry to stand in front of him, which was all it took for the dam to break and for Molly Weasley to cross the kitchen in a rush and enfold Harry in her arms. Snape and Arthur exchanged an uneasy glance. Snape shrugged and laid the tea on the table and Arthur and Snape settled in to wait for Molly and Harry.

“Bit of a surprise to find you here,” Arthur said after several uncomfortable minutes of muffled sobs coming from Harry and Molly.

“Believe me, I am just as surprised to find myself here.”

Arthur nodded. “Minerva told us you broke the curse Malfoy put on Harry. Nasty bit of work, she said.”

“Indeed. Lucius always had an uncanny ability to guess what would most injure his enemies.” Snape looked significantly at Arthur over the rim of his cup. “As I believe you are well aware of.”

Arthur chuckled darkly and sipped his own tea. “Glad you were here to take care of Harry.”

Snape snorted. “I was as surprised as anyone that I could help him.”

“Was a bit surprising, wasn’t it?” Arthur grinned. “But if anyone could have fixed him right up, it was you, and don’t think we don’t all know and aren’t grateful for it.”

Snape resisted the urge to fidget in his chair. “I’m sure anyone would have done the same.”

“But you were the only one that did anything.” Arthur gazed down into his cup. “We all rather left Harry to his own devices after that last confrontation.” He shot an embarrassed glance at Harry and Molly, who were still leaning on each other, but were not clinging to one another anymore. Molly was talking quietly to Harry who couldn’t seem to look anywhere but at the floor. “We didn’t even know that Harry had been injured, though of course we should have.”

“You were busy with your own loss,” Snape replied softly. “No one blames you for that.”

Arthur nodded. “We blame ourselves. And after we heard how Hermione turned on Harry…. But by that time he was locked away in here and wouldn’t let anyone in.” Arthur sighed. “I know Hermione didn’t mean any harm, and it’s difficult at times to remember how words can injure others.”

“And has Miss Granger been to see you?” Snape asked silkily.

Arthur nodded and shot another abashed look toward Harry. “Feels terrible, of course.”

“That is no excuse,” Snape said darkly.

Their conversation came to an abrupt end when Harry settled into the chair beside Snape while Molly sat beside Arthur. Snape looked at Harry who flushed and focused on preparing tea for Molly and himself. They talked of simple things, exchanging memories of Ron and news of the family and carefully avoiding any topics that spoke of the future. And then the Weasleys were gone, after another crying jag from Molly accompanied by hugs from both Molly and Arthur, and Harry and Snape were alone again. Snape studied Harry from across the table, but Harry’s attention was focused on the remains of tea spread out between them.

“How did you do it?”

Snape frowned. “How did I do what, Potter?”

“Forgive yourself,” Harry whispered, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

“What makes you think I have?”

Harry grimaced and lowered his hands to the table. “I don’t know. You seem like you have.”

Snape nodded absently. “Yes, I suppose it does.” He sighed. “I spent years atoning for the crimes I committed when I was a proud Death Eater,” he sneered. “It helped a great deal that Albus was so willing to allow me to do so.”

“You did things…. No one else could have done what you did.” Harry reached across the table, but Snape did not allow him to take his hand. 

“I only did what I had to do. I would have done anything,” he finished quietly.

“Dumbledore demanded too much of you.”

Snape shook his head. “Albus demanded nothing. He would have let me leave at any time.”

Harry nodded. “But he forgave you. For what you did. He didn’t blame you.”

Snape shook his head again. “Never. Not even when I crawled back to him and begged him to help me. Not when I told him what I had done. That I had wanted to do those things.” Snape looked up at Harry and grabbed his hand. “You were never given that chance. The opportunity to walk away. Circumstances were forced upon you and you did what no one else could or would do.” Harry tugged on his hand, but Snape held onto it. “You cannot blame yourself for something you were unable to avoid. You were a child when you first became a target for the Dark Lord. You were barely an adult when you killed him.”

“You were barely an adult when you joined the Death Eaters. Why did you have to atone for the mistakes you made? Why shouldn’t I feel guilty for the deaths I caused?”

“Because you did not choose what the Dark Lord made you into. I was willingly branded a Death Eater. I craved entry to that group.”

Harry nodded, somewhat reluctantly, and fell silent. “Mrs. Weasley said that the rest of the family want to see me.”

Snape squeezed Harry’s fingers and let go. “Yes, I imagine they do.”

“Do you still have nightmares?” Harry asked softly.

“Every night,” Snape answered just as softly.

****  
Snape wasn’t at all surprised when Harry asked him to be present when the rest of the Weasleys visited the next week. He was not happy, however, to discover that Granger would be there as well.

“I can’t hide from her forever.”

“You are entirely too forgiving,” Snape sneered.

Harry sighed and tapped a spoon on the table. Snape growled and pulled the spoon out of Harry’s grasp. Harry grinned. Snape sniffed and looked away. “It’ll be alright, Severus. I just…. I can’t hide forever. You told me that. And I have to see her.” He paused and waited for Snape to look at him again. “She didn’t mean it.”

“You don’t know that,” Snape hissed.

“You told me, only a few weeks ago, that people do and say rash things in the heat of the moment.” Harry shrugged. “Hermione had just seen her first love killed in front of her.”

Snape scoffed at Harry’s romantic phrasing and Harry grinned. Snape glared. “That does not excuse her words or actions.”

“I know. But…. She’s my friend. Shouldn’t I give her a chance to apologize?”

“Do whatever you like,” Snape snarled and left before he could destroy whatever relationship had been building between them. He would never understand how some had such a capacity to forgive those who injured them. He paused halfway up the path to Hogwarts. But that was exactly what Harry had done for Snape. The same way Albus had forgiven him all those years ago. It had been so easy for both of them to forgive Snape for the unforgivable. 

Snape cursed under his breath and began stalking back toward the gates. Harry was still in the kitchen when Snape apparated back to Grimmauld Place. Harry jumped when Snape apparated in and he couldn’t help but smile at Harry’s accusing glare. 

“If you are going to allow this – person,” Snape snarled, “back into your life, then I am going to be here to make sure she does not injure you again.”

Harry grinned. Then he laughed and walked up to Snape and before Snape could stop him, had wrapped him into a hug. “Thank you,” Harry whispered in his ear and Snape just managed to keep himself from grabbing hold of Harry and not letting go. Harry stepped back. “It’ll be fine, you’ll see.”

Snape snorted but Harry just grinned and went back to the dishes he had been washing when Snape arrived.

***

Snape waited for the approach of the meeting with Granger and the Weasleys with the same anticipation that he felt at the approach of a Death Eater meeting. He watched Harry fret about the house in a frenzy of cleaning and cleaning again, occasionally offering suggestions, but for the most part watching with a smirk and quietly worrying over Harry’s frantic activities. Even at night, Snape heard Harry wandering the house, putting things to right. Snape finally cornered Harry in the kitchen, forced him into a chair and shoved a cup of tea laced with a sleeping potion into his hands. Harry toasted him with the cup and dutifully wandered upstairs to fall into a bed as it took effect. Harry greeted him the next morning with a shy smile and a whispered thank you. And all too soon, the afternoon arrived and with it a horde of Weasleys. And Miss Granger.

Snape stood aside and watched quietly as they greeted Harry. The Weasleys were overly exuberant, as usual, and Snape sneered at the spectacle they made of themselves until Molly wandered over to stand beside him. 

“Severus,” Molly said after several minutes of watching her children, in-laws and grandchildren as they ransacked the sitting room.

“Molly,” Severus nodded regally. 

“Harry seems well,” Molly said with a small smile.

“I suppose so.”

Molly chuckled and Severus glared. “You seem to be settled in here.”

“I merely visit,” Severus protested.

Molly smirked, startling Severus. “Of course.” Severus tried to glare and was horrified to feel his cheeks begin to heat. He turned away to survey the room and grimaced when Molly chuckled. They both quickly turned their attention to Harry as Granger approached him. 

Harry smiled hesitantly as Hermione walked up to him and grimaced as she flung her arms around him. Neither Molly nor Severus could hear what was said, but judging by the increasingly anxious looks Harry sent their way, he was quite uncomfortable with whatever Granger was saying to him.

“Aren’t you going to do anything about that?” 

Severus started at Molly’s questions. “I believe it would be more appreciated were you to intervene.”

Molly chuckled again. “He’s looking at you, Severus.”

Severus scoffed at the notion, but realized she was right when Harry turned beseeching eyes on Severus yet again. Snape looked over at Molly who unabashedly grinned at him. Severus cursed under his breath and waded through assorted Weasleys to stand behind Granger and listen as she grilled Harry.

“… I understand that you were injured, but he was your best friend! You didn’t even try to come to his funeral.”

Harry’s cheeks flamed and Severus was unsure if it were embarrassment or anger. 

“And then you wouldn’t even accept any of my owls.”

“I’m sorry, Hermione, I just couldn’t.”

“But you let Molly and Arthur in right away! Harry, I was very worried about you.”

“I know, Hermione. Everyone was.”

“But I’m your best friend!”

Harry grimaced again and looked at Severus. “Yes, Hermione, I know. But I didn’t feel well.”

“I could have helped, Harry. I’ve studied medical texts and I’ve done some rudimentary healing already in my internship. It’s the most fascinating thing and they told me I could probably join a healer on rounds at St. Mungo’s soon. I’ve come so far so quickly and they’re really impressed with what I can do. I could have helped you heal, Harry, if you had only let me in.”

Harry stared intently at Severus. Severus smirked and stepped forward, startling Hermione with his first word. “You may think you could have helped heal Harry, but in fact you would have only made the situation more dire.”

Hermione propped her fists on her hips. “Well, I hardly see what you would know about it.”

Severus arched a brow in her direction and smirked at her sudden discomfort. “I ‘would know’ better than anyone. I was the one, after all, who broke the curse placed on Harry.”

Hermione crossed her arms over her chest and turned to Harry. “Did you really let Snape in here before you let me?”

Harry lifted his chin. “He’s the only one I trusted.”

Hermione looked, for a moment, as if she had been slapped. But just as quickly, the expression faded and she looked determined again. “How could you? Snape hates you!”

Severus crossed his arms over his chest and smirked when Harry crossed his arms as well. “Severus saved my life, Hermione. Not only did he break the curse, but he’s the only reason you and the Weasleys are here now. Yes, he used to hate me and I hated him just as much. But the war is over and he’s proven himself more reliable than anyone else. And I trust him more than I trust anyone else.”

Hermione’s chin quivered. “But Harry, you can trust me. You can always trust me.”

Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes with his fingers before settling his glasses back into place. “I was cursed with Peccavi, Hermione. Severus was the only one who could have broken it.”

“Peccavi?” Hermione frowned. “I’ve never heard of that.”

Severus smirked and Harry rolled his eyes. “It’s real, Hermione. And Severus broke it.”

“I’ve no doubt it’s real, Harry,” Hermione replied tartly. “I’ve just never heard of it.” She reached out and hugged Harry tightly. Severus smiled at Harry’s pained expression. “I could have helped you. I’ll do some research and find out about it and then I’ll come back and help you fight it.”

Harry pulled away from Hermione’s embrace and walked over to stand beside Snape. “There’s no need, Hermione. Severus already broke it.”

Hermione smiled condescendingly. “Yes, of course, Harry.” She patted his shoulder. “Don’t you worry about a thing.”

The Weasleys left shortly thereafter, dragging Hermione along with them. Harry collapsed onto a sofa in the living room, tossing his glasses onto a table and throwing an arm over his eyes. Snape snorted at his melodrama and left him alone to recover.

****  
Snape and Harry settled into a comfortable routine, which caused Snape no end of discomfort. They ate each meal together, taking turns or joining forces in the kitchen to prepare it and clean up afterward, depending on the meal and the mood in the house that day. Snape took advantage of the Black Family library and began plundering potions and Dark Arts books. It wasn’t long before Harry joined him in the library each afternoon, occasionally asking questions about potions to remove portraits from their frames but generally providing quiet companionship. By unspoken agreement, they spent the mornings apart, though Snape was distressed to discover that he looked forward to Harry’s company each afternoon. 

Snape managed to make several trips to Hogwarts in the following weeks. Ostensibly it was to gather ingredients and research from his labs there, but he also made an effort to keep Minerva informed as to Harry’s well-being. But Snape knew better than to believe he was leaving only to report to Minerva and Lupin. The affection he acknowledged feeling for Harry was growing, along with the fantasies he entertained himself with late at night in the silent house. He wanted Harry and knew that he had wanted him for quite some time. But it was more than just an increase in sexual desire. Snape found himself wanting to touch Harry’s cheek or attempt to tame that wild hair or even, he cringed at the thought, to simply hold Harry’s hand while they sat together in the library.

Severus had gotten use to the silence of Grimmauld Place. Neither Harry nor Snape were very talkative, and when they did converse it was quietly with no drama involved. Which was why it was such a shock to apparate back into the house and greeted with raised voices coming from the front parlour. He paused, frowning, and quickly identified Harry’s voice, rising in frustration.

“… believe me when I tell you --”

“Of course I believe you.”

Severus rolled his eyes when he identified Granger’s supercilious voice.

“Stop pointing that thing at me!”

“I just want to take a few scans.”

Snape reached the parlour door and leaned against the jamb. They stood halfway across the room, though it looked as if Harry were trapped against a rather large chair. His fists were clenched at his sides and it was obvious that he was resisting the urge to lash out. Granger’s wand was in her hand and she had a familiar determined expression on her face.

“I don’t need you to take any scans of me!”

“Well it’s obvious that something is wrong with you.” She lifted her wand again and Harry shoved her hand aside. She sighed and propped her hands on her hips. “You’ve never acted this way before.”

Harry took a deep breath, closed his eyes briefly and finally spied Severus when he opened them again.

“I can’t believe that you actually trust Snape of all people,” Hermione scoffed and Severus couldn’t contain a smirk as rage bloomed on Harry’s face. “It’s clear as day that he’s done something to you.” She lifted her wand again. “Now just let me cast a few scans and I’ll see if I can figure out what he did to you.”

Harry reached out and jerked Hermione’s wand from her grasp. Severus thought for a moment that he would snap it in two, but he simply lowered it to his side. 

“Severus has done nothing to me but break the curse and support me when all of my friends deserted me.” Hermione gasped, but Harry continued as if he hadn’t heard. “I know you were upset, I understand. And….” Harry gulped. “I don’t blame you for blaming me.”

Severus started at hearing that and Hermione laid a hand on Harry’s arm, but Harry shook her off and continued.

“Severus has always protected me. Yes, I hated him as much as he hated me. And for good reason. But the war is over. We’re not on opposing sides anymore, not that we ever truly were, but,” Harry shook his head, “that doesn’t matter. What matters is that Severus saved my life. He broke Malfoy’s curse. He has kept me company and…” Harry gulped again and met Severus’ eyes. “And I’ve grown to love him.”

Hermione gasped again. “Harry, you can’t mean that.”

Harry glared at Hermione before he pushed her aside, ignoring her squawk of outrage, charged over and pulled Severus’ face down to his. Severus was so startled he couldn’t react. And by the time he’d gather his wits and come to the realization that he should be clutching at Harry, Harry had already lifted his head and turned back to Hermione.

“I do mean it, Hermione. I’ve fallen in love with Severus Snape.” Harry gave a desperate laugh. Severus arched a brow and stared over at Hermione, and couldn’t hide a smile as he curved his arm over Harry’s shoulder and pulled him close. Harry seemed to melt into him, but Severus could feel him trembling slightly.

Hermione frowned. “He’s confunded you, Harry, that much is obvious.” Hermione held her hand out. “Give me my wand back and I’ll prove it to you. I just have to cast a few charms and --”

“Why can’t you get this through your head!” Harry shrugged Severus’ arm away and stepped forward. “I have not been confunded. I have not been hexed or cursed and before you even suggest it, Severus hasn’t given me any potions either! All he’s done is save my life, break a curse that Malfoy put on me, and listen while I tell him my fears, hopes and dreams! He’s helped me clean up this awful house, supported me when I was afraid to see the Weasleys and even helped convince me that I needed to see you when the last thing I wanted was to allow you into this house! When was the last time you did something like that, Hermione?”

“Harry, how can you say that? I’ve always helped you.”

“Oh, yes, of course,” Harry scoffed. “You’ve made it your goal in life to make sure everyone around you knew that you were the best and brightest at everything. Why, look, you’re even Harry Potter’s best friend.”

“I am your best friend, Harry,” she returned angrily.

“My best friend would never have accused me of not knowing my own mind. My best friend would have listened when I told her that I was fine. My best friend would have been happy when I told her that I was in love for the first time in my life.”

“Oh, please.” Hermione rolled her eyes. “The first time, Harry? What about Ginny, huh? You loved Ginny. And how could you ever fall in love with someone like,” she looked Snape up and down, “him.”

Harry stared for several minutes before he shook his head and tossed the wand at Hermione’s feet. “I give up.” He threw his hands into the air and Snape was struck once again at the melodrama that Harry seemed to enjoy exhibiting. “Think whatever you like. I’m not going to try and convince you of anything anymore. You obviously know everything.” He turned, stared at Snape a moment, started at something he saw over Snape’s shoulder, and rushed from the room. Snape glanced around and found Lupin and Minerva, hands over their mouths obviously holding back laughter, watching the scene. Harry rushed past them and marched up the stairs. Lupin sauntered into the room, slapped Snape on the back as he passed, and made himself comfortable on the sofa. Minerva stepped into the room and took up position at Snape’s side. Snape stifled a chuckle at her obvious effort to provide defense against Granger should it become necessary.

“Hermione,” Lupin drawled. 

Hermione knelt down and picked up her wand, holding it in front of her. “Remus, surely you don’t believe that claptrap that Harry was spewing.”

Lupin arched a brow, irritating Snape for some reason. “Why wouldn’t I believe it? Harry is an adult. And I’ve always found Severus to be a fascinating fellow. I don’t know him as well as Harry does, but I wager they have more in common than they had ever dreamed possible.”

Hermione glared. “Only because it’s obvious that Snape’s placed some kind of spell on Harry. They have nothing in common.”

Minverva snorted. Severus looked over and found her grinning at him. He frowned.

Minerva turned to Hermione and said tartly,“Miss Granger, you may have been the brightest witch to pass through Hogwarts in years, but you have a great deal to learn about human nature.”

“With all due respect, Professor McGonagall, nobody knows Harry as well as I do.”

Severus marveled briefly at Hermione’s arrogance. Minerva sighed and patted Snape’s arm. “Severus, it appears Remus and I will be quite occupied enlightening Miss Granger. Why don’t you go find Harry?”

Severus opened his mouth to protest, but Minerva gave him a stern glare and Snape shut his mouth and spun away. He could hear Hermione protesting behind him, but Snape left Lupin and Minerva to their self-appointed task and did as Minerva suggested. He found Harry sitting on the edge of his bed, head in his hands.

“I have been sent to find you.”

Harry snorted and looked up at Snape, but looked away quickly. “Congratulations, you found me.”

Snape sauntered into the room, pausing to fiddle with a few knickknacks scattered about before turning to face Harry, arms crossed over his chest. 

Harry sighed. “I’m sorry.” He cleared his throat. “About before.”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific,” Snape drawled. “You were such an annoying child.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “I meant recently.” He cleared his throat. “Downstairs. Just now.”

“I see.” Snape turned away, his eye caught by the empty owl cage in the corner. “Are you sorry for defending me, professing your love for me, or for kissing me without the chance to reciprocate?”

“Er, the kissing thing?”

Snape nodded and turned to face Harry again. Harry had stood and was nervously twisting his hands together in front of him. “And how do you plan to rectify the problem?”

“By, er, apologizing?”

Snape crossed his arms over his chest. “Harry, it occurs to me that we have reached a fork in the road regarding our relationship. The choice is entirely yours. We may part ways, as you seem more than capable of caring for yourself. Or we may attempt the more difficult path and perhaps create for ourselves a more…” Snape paused and had to gulp at the realization of what he was about to suggest. “Amorous relationship.”

Harry grinned for a moment. “An amorous relationship, huh?” He took a deep breath and took a step toward Snape. “Well, if I had to choose between becoming passing acquaintances with you and having sex, I’d have to choose sex.”

Snape frowned and took a step back as Harry took a step forward. Harry stopped. 

“Mr. Potter, I am not one to enter into meaningless affairs.”

Harry grinned and took another step forward. “Neither am I. You think I was lying to Hermione downstairs?” Snape began retreating from Harry’s advance and soon found himself trapped in the corner of the room. But Harry left enough room for Snape to escape if he chose and Snape found himself able to breathe easily. “I’ve gotten to know you pretty well the past couple of months. And if nothing else, the Peccavi Curse proved that I trust you.” Harry glanced away. “I know I’m awfully young. And you must think I’m an idiot, but I do care for you.” He took a deep breath and met Severus’ eyes. “I do love you. Or, at least I think I do. I’ve never really felt for anyone what I feel for you.”

Snape nodded but couldn’t speak past the lump in his throat.

Harry chuckled softly and took a step back. “You think I’m an idiot.”

Snape took a step forward grasped Harry’s arm before he could take another step. “You are young, certainly, but you are no idiot.”

Harry nodded, his eyes locked on Snape’s hand on his arm. He twisted his arm in Snape’s grasp and curled his fingers around Snape’s palm. 

“I’ve never had anyone just for me,” Harry said softly. “Not that I can remember anyway. And I…” He smiled and peered at Snape briefly from beneath his fringe. “I don’t have any idea what to do.”

Snape tugged him forward. “You think I do?” He hesitated a moment before wrapping an arm around Harry’s waist. Harry tensed but hooked his arm around Snape’s shoulder. Snape tugged again and Harry was pressed against his front. They stood awkwardly, barely able to breathe with the tension, but soon Harry closed his eyes and rested his head on Snape’s shoulder. Snape closed his eyes and hugged Harry close, breathing in the warm, clean scent of Harry. Harry sighed and Snape shivered at the breath ghosting across his neck. It felt strange, being this close to someone. But Harry was warm and there was something comfortable about feeling his breaths against Snape’s chest. Snape lowered his cheek to the top of Harry’s head. This was something he could become accustomed too. And, if Harry permitted, he would enjoy this odd sensation for years to come.


End file.
